Who Can Keep a Dump in their Pants the Longest?
Spenny must clean the windows of the production office while naked.
Original airdate
October 20, 2008

Who Can Keep a Dump in their Pants the Longest? is the first episode of the fifth season. Kenny and Spenny must don their diapers, defecate in them, and keep said defecation in their diapers for as long as possible. The first person to remove the feces from their diaper or remove the diaper entirely is the loser.

The CompetitionEdit

Kenny begins with his usual insults, and while Spenny at first plays along, he is quickly overwhelmed and implores Kenny end the japes. Both guys feeling incoming bowel movements, they prepare to don their diapers. Kenny goes into the kitchen to get changed, and Spenny capitalizes by discreetly rubbing cream around his buttocks and privates which will prevent diaper rash. Kenny reenters too quickly and Spenny ruins his shirt trying to hide the cream. Kenny reveals the reason he'd left to get changed: he switched his diaper out for a different one, one which has a long tube extending from the back, where the feces will safely sit several feet from Kenny's behind. Spenny destroys the diaper and Kenny puts on a regular one. 

Spenny feels himself crowning, so he ducks behind the bar in the dining room to fill his diaper. After finishing, he insists on seeing Kenny's feces exit his anus, lest Kenny cheat by simply stuffing his diaper. He watches only for a few seconds before being too disgusted to continue. After the bowel movements are over, Kenny returns to his room with his crew, where he reveals he "pinched the loaf", as in he defecated what little he could before holding in the rest, which he unloads into the toilet. He then plans on drying out his poop to ward off the smell by having unit coordinator Jamie Tiernay blow on it with a hair dryer, succeeding only in heating said poop. 

In his office, Spenny does a presentation for the camera about irritable bowel syndrome, its symptoms including needing to wear a diaper. He then passes out flyers on the street about the issue. Meanwhile, Kenny heads to a pet shop, where he fills his diaper with kitty litter, which will clump and dry out his feces, a tactic which he discovers works after he empties the kitty litter into the garden in the back yard. Spenny has a safe brought in, which he reveals is full of food, the logic behind this being that Kenny cannot mix his food with laxatives which will give Spenny diahrrea. Kenny finds him with the safe and urinates on him from the top of the stairs. 

Kenny comes up with another idea which he believes will net him the win. He has his crew drive him to Goldfield's, where he informs the herbalist of the competition and asks for drugs to constipate himself. Goldfield gives him five boxes of medicine, and he returns home. He shows Spenny the constipation pills, a tactic Spenny brushes off as too easy. Shortly afterwards, Spenny makes his own way to Goldfield, and demands the same medication as Kenny was given. He takes a pill once he arrives home. 

Three hours later, Spenny is plagued with stomach pains, and he paces around his room. He informs his crew that he can sense an impeding bout of diarrhea, and worriedly inquires as to whether they gave Kenny the combination to the safe. He lays down plastic sheets and squats down over them, preparing for the inevitable. Once begins his ordeal, Kenny discreetly takes a chair and watches the whole event from the window above Spenny's door, smiling to the camera knowingly. He later reveals that he is the cause of Spenny's diarrhea, having replaced the constipation medicine he purchased from Goldfield with laxatives, and returning them, and Goldfield restocked the shelves with them.

Kenny opens Spenny's door, and Spenny demands to know how Kenny gave him diarrhea. Kenny jokingly suggests he has irritable bowel syndrome. Spenny makes his way to the bathroom, and accidently spills some of his diarrhea on the floor. He cleans it, forbidding his crew from telling Kenny. Spenny's unit coordinator Kevin Morgan returns home from an outing with waterproof pants. Spenny puts them on and seals the waist and legs with duct tape, ecstatic that he can load his pants however much he wants without worrying about any spillage. 

Spenny meets Kenny downstairs, and Kenny believes that Spenny's waterproof pants tactic earns him a disqualification. Spenny fights back with the argument that he is allowed to wear them on the basis that Kenny dosed him with laxatives in the first place. Kenny offers a compromise to end the competition as fast as possible: a butt slam fest. The guys will abuse their behinds for as long as possible, and the first person to give up will lose. 

They begin by having the crew abuse their behinds in turn, and then move on to the park, where they play on the seesaw and ride the bumpy slide. The final test is the wheelbarrow run, where Kenny and Spenny are dragged on their butts by their respective unit coordinators. When they begin, Kevin Morgan accidentally steps on Spenny's testicles. Once Spenny recovers, he rushes to the public bathroom, and has another bout of diarrhea, unaware of the small tear in his waterproof pants. This one completely tears open his pants and floods the floor around Spenny, who orders the cameras shut off and concedes defeat.