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Who Can Commit the Most Crime?
Rules
1 - Real laws must be broken. No making up fake ones to break.

2 - If either guy gets busted, they lose.

3 - Neither competitor can blow the whistle on the other.
Winner
Spenny
Humiliation
Kenny, imprisoned in stocks, is pelted by Spenny and an onlooking crowd with tomatoes.
Original airdate
January 8, 2008

Who Can Commit the Most Crime? is the tenth and final episode of the fourth season. Kenny and Spenny must commit as many crimes as possible within the time limit. If either gets caught committing their crimes, the other man wins. The person who has committed the most crime by the end is the winner. 


The Competition[]

Kenny suffers a belching fit during the introduction, undermining Spenny's serious words about the moral ramifications of committing crimes. Kenny commits the first crimes of the competition during the rule making, asking the viewers to kill Spenny [incitement to commit murder] and smokes [smoking in the workplace]. After establishing the rules, Kenny goes up to his room, where he sends an email to Spenny stating that Kenny would kill him [uttering a death threat]. While Spenny discusses his unease with breaking the law while in his office, Kenny calls and interrupts him, putting on a stereotypical Chinese accent and asking if Spenny ordered Chinese food [criminal harassment]. 

Spenny continues to sit in his office while Kenny commits many petty crimes, including stealing Spenny's mail and tearing it up [mail theft]. Kenny returns home and stares at Spenny from the hallway through binoculars [voyeurism]. He enters Spenny's office and writes "Jew" on the whiteboard with an arrow pointing at Spenny [public incitement of hatred]. As Spenny modifies the drawing, the whiteboard falls off the wall, damaging it [damage to rental property]. Spenny's attempt at a second crime, damage to personal property, is thwarted when Kenny exclaims "I love it!", therefore classifying it as redecorating. 

Spenny decides to enter downtown Toronto to commit his crimes while Kenny commits those he can while at the house. Only a few hours in, Kenny has committed nearly twenty crimes while Spenny really struggles with his, having only committed three. Spenny's crimes are either minor misconducts (thinking writing on public walls with non-permanent chalk is a crime) or are thwarted by himself (stealing a fish, then ordering his crew to buy an aquarium for it. Fish come free with the purchase of a aquarium). Back home, Kenny enters the production office through the back yard and strips naked in front of the women there [sexual harassment]. 

Spenny returns home to educate himself about laws, and devise plans on how to break them. He finds an enormous book which does not simply list laws like he wanted, but rather spews what he sees as nonsense which his half-written in latin. His struggle in reading the book is accompanied by a montage of Kenny breaking more crimes. He makes considerable headway in his efforts, having committed more than forty crimes throughout the day. He goes to his mother, Tzafi's house, where he jokingly physically abuses her and steals her car [theft of an automobile].

Meanwhile, Spenny enlists the help of an attorney, who will aid Spenny by listing minor crimes that Spenny will proceed to commit, like saying he plans to overthrow the government [sedition] and telling the crew that there is a fire in the production van's trunk [false fire alarm]. Once the attorney leaves, Spenny tries selling oregano on the street, trying to pass it off as marijuana [trafficking in a controlled substance]. He quickly flees the scene when he sees a police officer patrolling the street. 

Both guys have turned to using dogs as part of their crimes, Kenny asking a girl to have her dog eat a pepperoni stick out of Kenny's pants [lewd behavior], and asking another woman to have sex with her dog, an offer she declines. Spenny, however, has found a dog tied to a railing, and decides to untie it and wander around, hoping that at some point it would be considered theft. He returns the dog to its owner when she comes out looking for it, thinking the dog managed to untie itself. 

Spenny catches a second wind when he turns to more obvious crimes like entering a restaurant with no shirt [public health violation], drinking vodka in a car [open alcohol in a vehicle], and donning a helmet to drive the car a few feet forward [driving under the influence]. Meanwhile, Kenny convinces two women to let him fondle their breasts for a point. They are disappointed to learn that he didn't commit a crime as they gave their consent. 

Spenny decides to drink while committing crimes, as while he will allow himself some leniency and be able to commit more crimes. Kenny, in the midst of committing more crimes (his score being in the 70's), gets caught by the police, but is let off with a warning, nearly losing the competition. Spenny, on the verge of drunkeness, wanders the streets attempting to commit crimes, and succeeding only in a few places like [drinking in public]. He is threatened by a fan of Kenny's, who reveals her breasts and intimidates Spenny into submission. 

Kenny takes a break from his crime spree to use the bathroom at the house, and parks his car on the side of the street while Spenny has wandered into a park to commit crimes there, his head pounding from all the drinking. Outside the house, the crew notices a police officer wander over and inspect Kenny's car, and the crew shout to Kenny, who is in the bathroom. Kenny is unable to reach the police officer in time, and is busted on his 82nd and final crime: [parking at a prohibited time]. Spenny, who is vomiting in the park, wins the competition with a grand total of 14 crimes.

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