Who Can be Tied to a Goat the Longest?
Wearing a goat costume, Spenny must be humped by his goat.
Original airdate
December 11, 2007

Who Can be Tied to a Goat the Longest? is the sixth episode of the fourth season. Kenny and Spenny must have one goat each tied around their ankles. If one of them unites the rope or it comes loose at any point before the three-day competition is over, the other person wins.

The CompetitionEdit

The guys both have a goat tied around their ankles. Spenny's goat immediately urinates and defecates on the floor, and Kenny points out its enormous testicles, laughing. Kenny mocks Spenny because the latter hadn't thought to order a female, and therefore smaller and calmer, goat, as Kenny had. Once they officially begin the competition, Kenny bends down and pulls an enormous length of rope from his pant leg, while Spenny's is around six feet long. 

Spenny tries to bond with his goat, but it remains uncooperative, being scared of the staircase while Kenny's goat went up fairly easily. He decides to carry it up. In his room, Spenny has set up a makeshift stable for the goat to reside in, in which the floor is covered in plastic wrap and pictures of prairies are taped to the walls. Kenny has set up a manger on the balcony for his goat to take part in. He prays to the statue of Jesus for his victory in the competition. 

Spenny's room has begun to smell, so Spenny gives his goat, which he's named Whitey, a shower. Kenny has stuffed a bra full of baby bottles which he wants Pilgor, his own goat, to suckle on as a way to bond. Later, Kenny relaxes in his room while his long rope lets his goat explore Spenny's floor. Spenny concocts a plan in which he sprays a mixture of honey and molasses on Kenny's rope, which Pilgor would eat and chew through, but Kenny catches him in the act. Spenny complains at having to take care of both goats, and Kenny remarks that it's of no bother to him whether it dies, and sets it loose in Spenny's room. 

Later, in the kitchen, Spenny catches Kenny's goat on the counter and orders Kenny to take it off. Kenny notices how red Whitey's testicles have become, as they were irritated by Spenny in the shower. Whitey proceeds to defecate. They move on to the living room, where Kenny scares Whitey with a remote control car, which, after being dragged around by his goat, Spenny smashes. Afterwards, while Spenny relaxes on the couch, Kenny plants an empty box of rat poison in Spenny's room. Spenny finds it a while later and rushes Whitey to the veteranarian, and on the way Whitey urinates in the car. While Spenny is gone, Kenny urinates on Spenny's bed after trying to make Pilgor do so. He then brushes his goat's anus with Spenny's toothbrush.

At the vet, Spenny exclaims that he will press charges if Kenny had really poisoned the goat, but the vet determines that Whitey is fine, and charges him for the visit. Back home, Kenny mixes Spenny's goat's food with espresso and its water with an energy drink. Upon his return home, Spenny brushes his teeth and discovers the urine on his bed, blaming Whitey. His goat eats while he cleans it up and soon begins to rampage around the house, so the guys move the show to the back yard, where Kenny irritates an already agitated Whitey by tapping the goat's testicles with his foot. The resulting rampage results in minor injuries and major annoyance in Spenny, who suspects a dirty scheme from Kenny. 

Back in the house, Spenny asks for a compromise to the competition, but says that he has no intention of forfeiting. As a result, Kenny brings his goat to a butcher, where Pilgor is supposedly killed. Upon his return home, Spenny discovers the corpse of a flayed goat on the kitchen counter, tied around Kenny's ankle. Spenny is quietly disturbed by Kenny's actions and berates the crew for allowing such action to take place. Disgusted by the whole situation, Spenny unties Whitey's rope from around his ankle and tells Kenny off for celebrating. Kenny retorts by opening the door to the pantry, revealing an alive Pilgor inside. Spenny hadn't noticed that the dead goat was tied around the wrong foot. The dead goat was simply bought at the butcher shop. Kenny dances around with his goat in celebration for being victorious.