Who's the Better Jew?
Kenny must eat a pig snout and milk, which is not kosher.
Original airdate
December 8, 2008

Who is the Better Jew? is the eighth episode of the fifth season. The guys must live life as practicing Jews for a set amount of time. Once the time runs out, they will recount how they lived their lives during this period to the judge, a rabbi, who will then weigh the stories and determine a winner.

The CompetitionEdit

The introduction features an already livid Spenny, who notices Kenny's shirt, on which a picture of a young Spenny standing next to Santa Claus is emblazoned. Kenny displays great confidence as he was raised in a Jewish household and speaks Hebrew. After the introduction, Kenny shaves, as he both believes that a "good Jew" must grow a beard, and that he can win without one. When he returns downstairs, he tells stories which paint Spenny as a Holocaust denier and Hitler sympathiser, both of which Spenny denies. 

Later, Spenny sits alone in his room and attempts to teach himself Hebrew. He is interrupted by Kenny, who is dressed as a Hasidic Jew and stands quietly in various poses around the room for fifteen minutes. Once the ordeal is over, Spenny explains that he has connections which allow him to reach and invite an orthodox rabbi named Haim to the house, who will teach Spenny about the essence of Judaism. Only a few seconds into the first lesson, Kenny interrupts once again and speaks to Haim in fluent Hebrew, introducing himself as Chen. He makes jokes about Jewish stereotypes and Spenny sends Kenny away. 

Spenny models an outfit for Haim, who likes Spenny's more traditionally Jewish look, though Spenny sees it more as Amish attire. Meanwhile, Kenny goes to Tzafi, his mother's, house. She raised him Jewish, and so he finds opportunities to make jokes about his "traumatic" circumcision as a baby. Spenny and Haim walk together in a park, where Spenny tells Haim about the bar mitzvah he decided not to go through with, and times where he felt he wasn't a good person. Haim comes up with a plan to aid Spenny in a spiritual rejuvination. 

Tzafi has decided to pull out the Hotz family pictures. Kenny informs Spenny, through the camera, that victory is assured due to Kenny's family, whose names include Murray, Louie, and Yedda. Haim and Spenny have arrived at another rabbi, Aaron's, house. Together, Haim and Aaron teach Spenny about Jewish philosophy and practises, like the Talmud. Spenny is quickly lost in the sea of information, and has trouble grasping various concepts, not understanding what he is trying to learn. When the rabbis ask him what he's learned, Spenny simply stares silently into space. 

Kenny has moved on to a deli, where allegedly, the mark of a good Jew is being able to taste deli. A blindfolded Kenny is fed various foods, which he identifies with ease. At the house, Haim has offered to bar mitzvah Spenny, and after the ceremony, they celebrate together. Kenny returns home and sees Spenny dancing. Kenny shows concern over Haim's turning Spenny into a "mega-Jew". Before Spenny can thank Haim for all he's done, Haim gets a phone call from Kenny (who is upstairs), under the guise of Murray Nussbaum, who bids Haim attend a funeral. Haim is obligated to attend, and he leaves despite Spenny's pleas. Spenny eventually relents and sees Haim off. 

With a few hours left in the competition to fill with Jewish behaviour, Spenny decides to visit a synagogue, where he attempts to pray. After a few minutes of sitting awkwardly and attempting to pray, he decides to leave. Kenny, meanwhile, makes a music video in which he plays a decidedly more innocent Hitler singing about the mistakes he's made in life, and would change the way he'd done things, if given the chance. Afterwards, he sets up a mock telethon called Kenny's Jew-bilee, and explains his plan of giving the judge $1800 prior to the judging. The judge will be told that the money was amassed through the telethon. 

The judge arrives, and Kenny dressed as a dreidel and using his crew and friends as a call center and band for his telethon, pretends to conclude it with the judge there. He presents the check to the rabbi judge, Wayne, and they proceed to the kitchen, where the judging will take place. He first listens to Spenny, who gives an honest account of his schedule, and claims to feel little to no spiritual influence in his daily life. Come Kenny's turn, he tells the judge about his Jewish upbringing and ability to tap into his inner Jew at will. Spenny takes offence at Kenny's bragging. The judge tells an allegorical story, the characters of which represent Kenny and Spenny. While it appears that Kenny is easily the better Jew, Spenny made a genuine effort to learn more about himself, using the competition as a springboard. The judge decides to rule in Spenny's favor.